The Trouble with Auto-Correct

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My husband nearly got himself killed last night, and it wasn’t because of yesterday’s East Coast 5.9 earthquake. No, he texted me late last night, letting me know he wouldn’t be coming home. Why? “There are no nudes available.” It was two minutes before he realized his auto-correct mistake and hastily re-texted that there were no “buses” available. (It is still unclear how his auto-correct got “nudes” from “buses,” but we won’t go there right now.) That was an exceedingly l-o-n-g two minutes, and it is quite amazing how much of the divorcing to-do list one can suddenly generate and [...] Read more »

On Mental Wellness, Part Two

(Continued from On Mental Wellness, Part One) The sad thing is that unless this is properly diagnosed and understood to be what it is—the actual inability to change one’s behavior after appropriate reflection because of a chemical inability to identify what’s going wrong in order to make different choices next time so that a different outcome can be obtained—it can look simply like stubbornness: ignorant, selfish, and foolhardy stubbornness that flies in the face of all reason. Speaking of social obligations: another common trait of ADHD sufferers is their inability to “read” the emotional cues of others. Recent studies have [...] Read more »

On Mental Wellness, Part One

It is surprising, disheartening, and amazing to me that mental illness remains as controversial a topic as it does in the supposedly enlightened society in which we live. As someone with friends and a spouse who struggle with various forms of mental illness, I find that the judgement, denial, silence, ignorance, and fear saddens me more than I can say. With mental illness, as is the case with many other serious medical issues, lack of proper treatment can eventually lead to death, either by the hand of the sufferer themselves or by factors both directly and indirectly related to the [...] Read more »

The Road Not Taken

I’ve always loved that famous poem by Robert Frost. You know, the one that speaks of how he took the road less traveled, and how “that has made all the difference.” Lately I’ve been thinking not about roads less traveled, but rather about roads never traveled at all. Several times over the last year, I’ve been suddenly confronted with situations both good and bad that might have been my life had just one thing gone differently. And there has been an oddness, a sense of looking and seeing something off-kilter, something not quite right. Recently, I identified part of what [...] Read more »

On the Rise (but Mostly Fall) of the Art of Seduction

It is truly a brave new world out there. Oh, I know every generation sincerely tells their kids that they walked to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways, and that they should be very grateful for all the things they have that the prior generation didn’t. And I know every generation which hears this secretly thinks their parents or caregivers are archaic beyond their powers to express. And then, years down the road, the younger generation not only find themselves increasingly viewing their parents as quite the progressives…they have begun telling the next-younger generation the “uphill in the [...] Read more »

You know you’re from a large family when…

Those of you from large families, you know what I’m talking about. As you begin getting out of a family vehicle, perfect strangers stop mid-stride, mouths hanging slack, and begin counting you and your siblings as their fingers swoop through the air, audibly pointing out each one of you in turn. People turn to you in grocery stores, faces dripping with sympathy and a vague form of censure, and they say, “Your pooooooooor mother” in the sepulchral tones people use in discussing a nuclear detonation somewhere that just killed over 1000 people. And of course, one of my all-time favorites: [...] Read more »

About My Short-Lived Career as a Music Critic

Just recently someone told me that I’m musically gifted!!!  I was instantly very impressed with both myself and them, and I immediately began to wonder what I should do with this newly-discovered greatness. I had heard tales of this sort of incredibly amazing giftedness emerging later in life and not during the child prodigy stage, but I never expected it to be me. Perhaps my natural humility prior to this time simply didn’t permit me to recognize my clearly-obvious-and-stellar-in-hindsight gifts for what they were and are. (Hmm…come to think of it, I’ll need to re-examine other categories of my life [...] Read more »

On Matchmaking, or My Complete Ineptitude at Trying to Preserve the Human Race

So. A few of my single female friends got the idea that I should help set them up with appropriate men. Now in theory this sounds like an excellent idea; the women are lovely, intelligent, and accomplished, all of them.  The problem in actual practice: in recent years I have completely sucked as a matchmaker. Allow me to illustrate with a few recent examples. I was to keep my eye out for eligible men for a friend of mine at a cocktail-style event we both attended. Wouldn’t you know it…if I didn’t find a lovely man for her! He had [...] Read more »

A Pugsley Kind of Love

Getting a dog has taught me more about love than what I ever could have imagined. I realize now that I’d been subconsciously assuming that the most important things I could learn about love would of course be learned through two-footed beasts, not four-footed ones. Well, I was wrong. I have been unexpectedly surprised, and humbled, and sometimes awed outright by what this hairy, smelly, not-fully-house-trained, non-college-educated, unemployed, underachieving, snoring, shedding, and oversleeping animal (20 hours out of every 24) has helped me come to know about the nature of love. Here, in no particular order, are just a few [...] Read more »